The Nature of Forgiveness
by Slayergirl
Summary: A former angel has trouble understanding the nature of forgiveness. Luckily, there are helping hands to help him come to terms with it. Set post-film. Rated T for language.


**A/N: Because I wanted to know what happened to Bartleby and Loki after the end of the film - and I'm pretty sure others want to know, too. This is how I imagine it.**

* * *

Bartleby groaned, without bothering to open his eyes. "Where am I?" Then, when there was no answer, he whimpered quietly. "Where's Loki?"

There was still silence, but within it, he could sense another presence, one that, however little he wanted to admit it, was a comfort. Not the Divine Presence; but the next best thing, maybe.

"In answer to your first question, at the gates of Heaven. As for Loki… well, he's not."

"He's inside?"

"No."

He forced himself to sit up, to look into those hazel eyes that were surprisingly full of compassion. "Where is he?" He tried to swallow back the bile that was rising in his throat. "Not Hell. Please, not Hell. He doesn't deserve that. He tried to stop me, he shouldn't be punished!" he said desperately.

"You never gave him the chance to ask God's forgiveness," said the Seraph quietly.

He dropped his head onto his knees and sobbed. "And because I repented, I get to Heaven?"

"I don't make the rules, Bartleby."

"It's not fair!"

"No, it's not." To Bartleby's surprise, the Seraph sat beside him and wrapped an arm around him. He huddled against him like a scared child, seeking the comfort he realised instinctively Metatron was trying to offer. To the end of his days, he'd remember the feel of Metatron's green velvet hoodie, the comfort he sought to give, with unwavering gratitude.

"Not Hell. Please, not Hell. I didn't mean for… I just didn't… I don't know what happened. How could I… he was my best friend."

Metatron's fingers smoothed his hair gently. "Hush. He's not in Hell, for the very reason that he _did_ try to stop you."

"Purgatory?"

Metatron hummed in agreement. "A period of atonement."

"For _what_? I was the one whose whole idea this was, and he tried to stop me! I should be the one who should…"

Metatron sighed. "Like I said, I don't make the rules. You repented and were forgiven by God, and therefore you can return home. At her decision. Lady's prerogative to change her mind, and all that."

"But Loki…" He looked up at Metatron pathetically. "Isn't there something God can do?"

"Like with your plenary indulgence, Purgatory is another of those church laws that Heaven has to uphold," he grimaced. "You really think She wanted this?"

He snuffled and shook his head. In a small voice, he asked, "Is there anything I can do?"

"Not unless you want to switch places with him, no."

To Metatron's surprise, Bartleby looked as if he'd been handed a winning lottery ticket. "I could do that? I could take his place?" he asked eagerly. "He could… he could go home?"

"It's highly irregular, and I don't think it's ever been done before, but I don't see why not, if you really want to," he said.

"Then I'll do it. I should be the one to be punished, anyway, not him," he said resolutely. Then his face crumpled, and he started to cry again. "I cut off his wings. I murdered him."

Metatron kissed his forehead gently. "I think a spell in Purgatory might help you forgive yourself, given that God's forgiveness doesn't seem to be enough," he said dryly. Bartleby threw his arms around him, weeping uncontrollably. Metatron sighed. "Oh, give over. It'll work itself out in the end, you idiot, it always does. Now stop your mewling and get a grip."

But Bartleby couldn't stop crying, and despite his words, Metatron didn't let go of him.

"Come on," he said gently, once Bartleby's sobs had quietened to snuffles again. "Let's go."

"To Purgatory?"

"Yes, if your mind's made up." He pushed himself lightly to his feet, hauling the former angel up with him. "You don't have to do this, you know. She's forgiven you."

"I know, but…"

"…God's nature is always to have mercy, human nature is always to feel guilt, regardless. I know."

"Do they all feel like this?" he asked meekly.

"Mostly. The ones who don't go straight to Hell." He looked at Bartleby for a moment. "If it makes a difference, Loki's forgiven you, too."

He shook his head. "How can he?"

"Because he loves you, and the nature of those who love is to forgive," he replied. Bartleby just looked at him, unconvinced. "I'm not going to be able to change your mind about this, am I?" he asked wearily.

Bartleby shook his head again. Then, with a click of the Seraph's fingers, they were at the entrance to Purgatory. Immediately, a voice carried through from within.

"You are _shitting_ me! What do you mean, I can't watch my fucking cartoons?"

Metatron glanced at Bartleby's face, which was a mixture of amusement, sadness, guilt, and regret. "He'll be able to watch them in Heaven, right?" whispered the former angel.

"Things don't change that much, Bartleby. Of course he will." He couldn't help but see the affection on Bartleby's face, the slight smile. He shook his head with a sigh, and took a step forward towards the gates. "Bit of a mix-up," he said to the gate-keeper. "I'm here to collect a former angel by the name of Loki?"

"Thank _Christ_ for that, the little bastard's been complaining non-stop about his cartoons," came the reply. Metatron noticed with some amusement that Bartleby was, by now, grinning from ear to ear. "Oi, you! Yes, you with the cartoon fetish! Time's up, you're out."

"What?"

"I _said_ , you're _out_ , you little shit."

Without further ado, Loki was propelled out through the gates, landing in an ungainly heap at Metatron's feet. Silently, he reached down, and helped the former angel to his feet.

" _Metatron_? Dude, am I glad to see you!" he said with a smile. Then he caught sight of Bartleby, hanging back awkwardly. "Hey, you don't even have a hello for your best buddy?"

To his consternation, Bartleby burst into tears again. "Suffering from an over-abundance of guilt," said Metatron in explanation. "He had the chance to repent."

"And took it?" he asked urgently. "Metatron, did he…?"

"Oh, he took it, and now he can't get beyond the fact that he denied you the opportunity, so he got to Heaven and you didn't."

Loki looked from his friend to the Seraph and back again. "So, why are you here?"

"He's intending to take your place."

"No. No fucking way. That's not how it works."

"Loki…"

"No!" Loki turned to Bartleby, an exasperated look on his face. "Don't be so fucking stupid. You've been forgiven. Don't throw it back in God's face."

Bartleby sent him a pleading look. "I just… I just want you to have the same chance as me," he tried to explain.

"And I will, in time. Go. I'm not letting you take my place. I won't go." He folded his arms and glared at the two of them.

"Loki, _please_."

"No."

"I should take your place, this whole thing was my fault. If I hadn't talked you into giving up your position in the first place, none of this would have happened."

"And have I ever held that against you? In all that time, have I ever held _anything_ against you?"

"You should do."

"But I don't. That's the nature of forgiveness."

"I did try to tell him," said Metatron. "Not like he was going to listen to me, though."

"He never listens to me either," replied Loki with a smile. "Go home, Bartleby. I'll be along when I'm finished here."

"Can't I at least stay with you?" he pleaded.

"What for? You've been forgiven."

Metatron looked round as someone tapped him on the shoulder, and with relief, he stood aside to let the slight, shining figure step past him. The two former angels fell to their knees, their heads bowed in Her presence. She didn't say a word, but went first to Bartleby, kissed him on the forehead as she motioned to him to stand, and waved him in Metatron's direction.

He went quietly, but with a longing look in Loki's direction. Metatron dropped a firm hand on his shoulder. "It'll be fine," he murmured. "Bartleby. It'll be fine."

They watched as the slight figure approached Loki, and took him by the shoulders, raising him up. She looked up at him, a slight smile on Her face.

He smiled back at Her, as if he just couldn't help himself; it was as if the sun was shining on him after millennia of darkness. Metatron couldn't help thinking that it wasn't such a bad analogy.

"I'm sorry," Loki whispered. "I should never have listened to him. I should never have given up my position. I should have tried harder to stop him." He glanced over to where Bartleby stood. "But that's my fault, not his. Please don't punish him any more. He's suffered so much."

She took him in Her arms and held him. This time, it was Loki who wept.

She looked over at Metatron, and with a tiny smile, nodded gently.

"Come on, you pair of snivelling idiots," he said with a long-suffering sigh. "It's time to go, before I get any _more_ snot on my hoodie." With a click of his fingers, they were back at the gates of Heaven.

"Where did She go?" asked Loki.

"Went on ahead so She can be there to welcome you home properly," replied Metatron brusquely. "Honestly, you two are so much trouble." He shepherded them none too gently towards the gates.

"Sorry," said Loki sheepishly.

Metatron couldn't help but smile, and reached over to ruffle Loki's hair. "I forgive you, you little idiot," he said. "And you, Bartleby, despite the snot on my hoodie."

Bartleby smiled ruefully. "I'll help you clean it off?" he offered.

"Dead right, you will. Now stop chatting and get in, will you? Some of us have work to do." And with one hand on each back, he shoved them through the gates of Heaven with a shake of his head and a roll of his eyes.


End file.
